WHY?

Ok, so I know that WHAT explained to a certain extent WHY I am doing the internship. But, I want to make it a little more personal, just to give a thorough explanation of why I trust the Lord has been preparing me for to be an RUF intern.

I love weddings, events, design, food, and culture. So, I majored in hotel/restaurant management so I could plan weddings or be a chef of some sort. Weddings and events took precedence.

Let's go back a little bit further.

I am going to be really transparent for a second. I came limping to Auburn, hardly making it here. But, you see, I am very stubborn and I was going to come to Auburn at the correct time and I was going to be in a sorority and go to all of the Auburn football games. I had to achieve the same things my sisters had. But, my senior year of high school I entered a pretty severe depression and struggled with an eating disorder. Honestly, sometimes I don't like saying that simply because it sounds like an intro to a sob story. But, that's not what I am trying to do here. I want to explain that God had to tear away this idol that was destroying me. I had to become nothing to begin to understand who He is.

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." - Philippians 1:20-21

So, I came to Auburn, convincing myself and everyone else I was fully recovered.

To a certain extent I was "much better" than when I first began to struggle with all that junk. Physically, I seemed better. Mentally and emotionally I was still struggling.

RUF was a great haven for me. The Lord directed my path to RUF. RUF did not save me, but the Lord knew the teaching, the music, the fellowship, and the doctrine is what I needed to be drawn near to Him.

I met some of my closest friends, immediately through RUF, but I was still trying to struggle to be "cool" and I was so afraid to miss out on any opportunity at Auburn. It was hard for me to really let go. I was constantly putting my faith in the group that I was a part of and what I was involved in and how I looked.

The Lord also graciously led me to Marannook. Truly, truly, truly God did all of that. I still do not really know how I got there.

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139:16

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10

That's where He spoke tenderly to me. He really allowed me to fall deeply in love with His Word and with Him and His people. That was the summer after my Freshmen year at Auburn.

So, I was going to continue on this path in Hotel/Restaurant Management. I wanted to get to the city. I wanted to get into a creative world. So, my plan was to live and work in Atlanta the next summer, the summer after my sophomore year at Auburn. Well, doors were not opening for me as easily as I thought they would. Then, again, I took a pretty big blow... involving a boy and I was crushed. So, by the grace of God, He timed it that I was at Marannook the day after all of these things fell through. After that weekend, Mr. Charles asked me to come back to Marannook to work as the assistant program director. I had been resistant before, but this time I was convinced that it was where I needed to be. It was a matter of weeks before the summer began.

That summer I had the privilege of being a sort of leader for the training staff girls which consists of college students. I absolutely loved getting to know them, helping them, supporting them, and struggling with them. There was a point during that summer where I knew without a doubt the Lord was calling me to ministry. He diminished all desire of a successful career in the hospitality industry and gave me a deep hunger for vocational ministry.

He spoke these words to me...

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

God had so comforted me at Auburn, I knew that was my calling, as it is all of ours.

I did not know what this ministry would look like but I remember calling my mom and she seemed to take me seriously :) I like to get ideas in my head and get excited about them. So, sometimes not all of my ideas are always fully trusted. But, my mom said she would begin to pray.

The next year, being my Junior year at Auburn, I really began to get interested in China. I read so many books about this place, about the underground church, about the missionaries who had gone before, and the vision to take the Gospel back to Jerusalem. I was convinced I needed to go the next summer. However, that was not panning out the way I wanted it to. I did get to go on a vision trip that spring and I fell deeply in love. I was convinced I was going to back for a year or two when I graduated.

So, last summer as I worked in Auburn and spent some time at home, I made calls, prayed, researched, inquired about China. One group I thought that I would be going with kept rubbing me the wrong way... I did not trust going with them for a year. I am fully convinced that it was the Lord's timing, because I know so many dear friends who have had amazing experiences with that group. I made more phone calls and each group did not fit. I took counsel from two men I could trust, one being my campus minister, and as they advised me, some of the doubts I was forming in my mind were being confirmed. So, needless to say I was confused, very confused.

Richard (my campus minister) kept nudging the idea of the RUF internship. I think I had been resisting it, because once I began to really open myself up to the idea, I realized this is what I had been hearing all along, but being frustrated by it. Friends had encouraged me to look into it... but I said no... I don't feel called. Others had said, I really wish you would stay in America... I think you are needed here (God is needed here... not Kate). I kept resisting and praying. But, I finally let go. And, said, OK. I will do this.

Once Richard told me everything that was involved in the internship, I realized, this is my dream job.

- working one-on-one with college students

- leading bible studies

- organizing events

- mission trips

- study program reading some amazing theological books

It was perfect! And, I realized, Lord, You have been preparing me for this. It all fit together and once I let go I began to realize this was His perfect timing. This is for His kingdom, it's not about me.

I have no idea why He chose this for me, but that is exactly what He did. This is GOD's plan, not mine. He directed my path. Had I directed my own, I would have either been in Atlanta or Nashville working with weddings or overseas in China. So, here I am just trying to obey Him.

And by the way, I do still have a huge burden for China and pray the Lord will get me there one day. I would love to somehow raise awareness of the persecuted church when I am at Wake Forest through Voice of the Martyrs. Also, I believe the Lord has fully chiseled away that idol of looks and food and body image. However, as Tim Keller says, our hearts are idol factories and I am building new ones every day. Just because I am going to be an RUF intern does not mean that I have it all together... instead it is quite the opposite... I understand weakness and brokenness and depending whole heartedly on God.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:17-21

If you read all of that, bless you. It just gives me a peace of mind that there is in writing for anyone to understand how my path was directed here and why I do believe wholeheartedly that the Lord has called me be an RUF intern.

If you would like to support me, financially, the simplest way to do that is to click...

HERE. Just search for my name under staff member...

Rhodes, Kate - Wake Forest Intern

"I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“Come unto Me and rest;
Lay down, O weary one lay down,
Your head upon My breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was,
So weary, worn and sad;
I found in Him my resting place,
And He has made me glad.

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“Behold I freely give
The living water; thirsty one,
Stoop down and drink, and live.”
I came to Jesus, and I drank
From that life-giving stream
My thirst was quenched, my soul revived,
And now I live in Him.

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“I am this dark world’s light;
Look unto Me, thy morn shall rise,
And all thy days be bright.”
I looked to Jesus, and I found
In Him my star, my sun;
And in that light of life I’ll walk
’Til pilgrim days are done."

- "I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say", Horatius Bonar