the close of the semester.

I have drastically slowed down on my blogging.  I never thought I would be busier as an intern than as a college student, yet I felt more stressed as a student then as I do an intern.  And maybe its not that being an intern is busier but it consumes my mind more, it takes more of my overall energy, and I have less of a desire for this whole blogging world that I used to adore.  Except that, this whole wedding buzz is all over the place with my students.  They are constantly showing me or asking me for more wedding photography blogs/wedding videos/etc.  So, that never escapes me.  Maybe some day I really will be a wedding planner.  Who knows.  But, right now I am an RUF intern at Wake Forest.  And I am so thankful that that is what God called me to do.

Today, I'm sick.  And, I'm not very happy about it at all.  I had a very spontaneous weekend.  I went to see one of my closest friends in Nashville on Friday to watch the Iron Bowl with her... and WAR EAGLE.  We won after one of the biggest comebacks in the history of college football... so I'm told.  And, with adrenaline rushing, Rachel and I felt an incessant need to go to Auburn.  And we drove at 5:30 to Auburn.  We made a pitstop to see some friends in Birmingham and made it to Auburn around 10:30 to hang out with Rachel's boyfriend and some of her Opelika friends.  We went to Toomer's Corner and because it was so cold and the trees were so white it truly felt like I was walking in snow.   It was quite a site.  The next day I got to catch up with one of my other dear friends, Hamilton, who has been in Europe all semester studying abroad.  She has no major plans for the next month, so she asked if she could ride back to Winston-Salem with me for the week.  So, we drove back to Nashville for the night, met up with a couple of more friends, and then drove back to Winston-Salem.  Oh, and before we left Nashville on Monday, we stopped by my favorite coffee shop in Nashville, Frothy Monkey.  Guess who showed up the same day.... Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal!  You can read about it right here if you are really interested... Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal Share Coffee – Again.  We have many Christmas festivities this week, which I've been preparing for along with the normal day to day intern stuff.

(Rachel and I watching the game in Nashville)

And then, after lunch yesterday as Hamilton and I shopped for Christmas decor for the RUF Christmas party, it hit me.  I felt awful.  So, I canceled everything for the rest of the day and lounged around and made Christmas decorations.  But, much to my dismay, today I only felt worse.  So, I went to the CVS med clinic (who knew they had one of those?) and got some medication.  I am praying that it will kick in before these activities tonight, but I'm wishful thinking.  Tonight is the "Lighting of the Quad" on campus, RUF Christmas Caroling, and a lights show and a farm near here called Tanglewood Farms.  Tomorrow night is the annual RUF Christmas party.  Plus, Hamilton is here with me and I really feel so bad that she has to sit with a sick person.  

Anyway, these are my happenings these days.  The semester is coming to a close.  I am amazed at how much has occurred in the last 6 months of my life.  Nothing about my life seems the same as it was before.  Everyone is new.  The setting is new.  The job is new.  God's been very faithful.  I will be honest with you.  The last month has been particularly hard.  I have felt the loneliness that we warned so much about at training.  I have felt those fears of, what is my life going to look like from now on?  Where do I go from here?  For a while I felt overwhelmed by some of those feelings.  Praise God, He heard me once more and has been faithful to be working on those areas and providing encouragement in various ways.  Kevin Teasley has been a wonderful mentor and boss and friend and pastor.  God has provided some new, encouraging friends.  And, I want to recommend a book for reading.  It's the next book I am to read on my reading list... Spiritual Depression by Martin Lloyd Jones.  I have only read the first three chapters, but it has already made a great impact on me.  Here's a quote, "the ultimate cause of all spiritual depression is unbelief.  For if it were not for unbelief even the devil could do nothing." Wow.

And, I read this a couple of days ago.  I was sitting in Starbucks and an old man walked by, probably around the age of 80.  I saw in his hand a bible and the devotional, Our Daily Bread.  I was so intrigued and encouraged that he was still seeking after God.  It prompted me to read that devotional for the day, because it is not one I typically choose.  This is what it said:

On the passage, Exodus 4:1-5

"If you have a tendency to despair over lost opportunities or if you worry about the future, ask yourself this question: “What is right in front of me?” In other words, what circumstances and relationships are currently available to you? This question can get your focus off a past regret or a scary future and back to what God can do in your life.

It’s similar to the question God asked Moses at the burning bush. Moses was troubled. Aware of his own weaknesses, he expressed fear about the Lord’s call for him to lead Israel out of bondage. So God simply asked Moses, “What is that in your hand?” (Ex. 4:2). The Lord shifted Moses’ attention away from his anxiety about the future and suggested he notice what was right in front of him—a shepherd’s rod. God showed Moses that He could use this ordinary staff to perform miracles as a sign for unbelieving people. As Moses’ trust in God grew, so did the magnitude of miracles God worked through His servant.

Do you think about past failures too much? Do you have fearful thoughts about the future? Recall God’s question: “What is that in your hand?” What current circumstances and relationships can God use for your benefit and His glory? Entrust them—and your life—to Him.

Onward and upward your course plan today,
Seeking new heights as you walk Jesus’ way;
Heed not past failures, but strive for the prize,
Aiming for goals fit for His holy eyes. —Brandt

You can’t change the past,
but you’ll ruin the present by worrying about the future."

Thank you, as always, for the support you have given me thus far.  I am so blessed by the relationships God has placed in my life.  I look forward to what next semester brings!