What a weird day, today has been.
Life is in transition right now. I'm rounding out my first year of the internship at Wake Forest and oddly contemplative and emotional about it. It's been a really good year. It's been challenging.
Yesterday, I talked with a lady who works for a particular missions organization. I had planned to work with them two years ago, and my plans were veered to do the internship. Two years later, an opportunity has opened up to serve with them for six weeks this summer in East Asia. She remembered talking to me two years ago and was excited to hear my story of what God had been doing in my life since. As I told her my story, she talked about how everything I have been doing and experiencing is actually wonderful preperation for overseas work. It was a really encouraging conversation of God's sovereignty.
Yesterday, we had our end of the year picnic. However, it was interrupted by tornado sirens. We had a brief intermission and then continued our picnic. Again, some sadness and excitement in seeing these dear faces for either the last time or the last time untill Fall. Encouraged and sentimental over the blessings of this year.
After that, I somewhat spontaneously, somewhat had been thinking about this for a while, decided to watch The Passion of the Christ for the first time since I was a sophomore in high school. There were a few guys watching it so I joined them.
Wow. My heart churned, my eyes swelled, my mind can't comprehend the love of Jesus Christ. I'm overwhelmed by why He has allowed me to understand His truth. Pilate asked, "What is truth?" after Jesus says, "For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world - to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice." (John 18) Jesus is truth. I think I was struck by His humanity, His choice to bear the pain of betrayel and pain of being beaten, His intense temptation. That humanity, that death, that resurrection, that is truth. That allows me to have hope in what I'm claiming to stake my life on. "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)
A couple of days ago I was reminded of the true intent of the overused, misinterpretted verse, Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I must delight in Jesus and then my desires will be right and will be filled. I was thinking of how I desired to desire Him. Today, I'm delighting in Him. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, on this earth that could go to the depths and extremes of love that He did for me and for you who believe.
Then, I came home, halfway sick to my stomach from the combination of picnic food and anguish in watching the Passion, and my throat a little scratchy from literally belting at the top of my lungs in my car these words. They were only most appropriate...
"Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
A great high priest whose name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart
When satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because a sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Alleluiah! Alleluiah!
Praise the one risen Son of God
Behold Him there the risen Lamb
My perfect spotless righteousness
The great unchangable I AM
The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself I can not die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God
With Christ my Savior and my God
Alleluiah! Alleluiah!
Praise the one risen Son of God
Alleluiah! Alleluiah!
Praise the one risen Son of God
Alleluiah! Alleluiah!
Praise the one risen Son of God
Alleluiah! Alleluiah!
Praise the one risen Son of God"
- Before the Throne of God Above
"Whom do you seek?' They answered him, 'Jesus of Nazareth.' Jesus said to them, 'I am he.'" - (John 18:5) He is the great I AM. And we seek to love Him or we seek to destroy Him. But, He is Jesus of Nazareth. He is who Isaiah speaks of, "But there will be no gloom for her who was in anguish. In the former time he brought into contempt the land of Zenulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the latter time he has made glorious the way of the sea, the land beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the nations. The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shined." (9:1-2)
So, when I came home, I learned of the magnitude of destruction in Alabama from the tornadoes. I was saddened again for the immense disaster in my home state. I began to watch videos and watch the death toll rise. Though I am safe in North Carolina, I was oddly sad not to be home with them. No one that I know personally experienced tragedy, just damage to homes or debris in yards. My family is on their way to south Alabama because my home town will have a power outage for several days. They don't have gas supplies and traffic lights are out. It's quite chaotic. But, I know that in some ways this is a dent in comparison to disasters in Japan and New Orleans and Haiti.
I am so thankful that Christ has conquered death. Praise Him for that. Now, I'm praying that I would become more bold in proclaiming that truth.
Ok, what a sporadic post and heavy. But, these are my thoughts today and I was in much need for a post update.
Peace.
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