Joy in suffering.

The last couple of days the thorn in my flesh wanted to keep poking at me, reminding me that I am inevitibly, continually weak.  My initial, fleshly reaction is to kick and scream, feel sorry for myself, and sulk into depression.  Why me?  Yes, there is deep pain throughout this world, but surely mine is the worst.  (Please include a sarcastic tone in that statement.)  Surely the Lord has forgotten me and I am too irredeemable.

I went on my daily run today.  I was listening to "Pilot Me" by Josh Garrels.  "I will arise and follow you, Savior please, pilot me... Over the waves and through every sorrow, Savior please, pilot me."  Suddenly, I realized again what it means to take joy in my suffering.  I realized again the command Jesus says to us to take up our cross daily, and follow Him.  Since He called me into His Kingdom, I have asked the Lord to take all of me.  I have asked Him to reveal to me His will so that I could follow Him.  Yet, when I face the reality of that, I pitch a fit.  I thought of the verse, "I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church." - Colossians 1:24 and "If anyone come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." - Luke 9:23.  I then realized that it should be a joy to experience disappointment and walk through the wilderness.  These are the things that make us usable in His kingdom.  When we suffer, we get to experience the suffering of our Lord and become more like Him.  We participate in the will of the Father.

This summer when I was in China, our team studied Philippians together.  Philippians 2:6-7 says, "Though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant."  Our team leader, Daniel, said we must give up our rights.  What do we claim to have rights to?  Am I demanding those rights from God?  Well, a man who was God himself did not consider himself worthy.  Yet, He saved the whole world and now sits enthroned in heaven.  We talked about Paul.  Do you think Paul thought that prison was the best place to be?  Do you think he felt like it made sense for him to be there, rather than traveling through Greece preaching the word and planting churches?  Well, he didn't question his imprisonment (not that we know of, though he was a weak, sinful man himself.)  Rather, he told his prisonmates about the love of his life.  He wrote letters from jail, encouraging the churches that he could not physically be a part of.  He took joy in the place God had put him.  That challenged my discontentment like nothing else.  In fact, Paul says later that he has learned to be content in any situation.  

Paul learned contentment.  As I continue to struggle with the thorn, I begin to rejoice.  I take joy that the Lord loves me so much to deal with me, to sanctify me, to draw me close to His side.  I take joy in the fact that He has allowed me to play a role in the building of His kingdom.  If that means temporary pain, so be it.  I get to serve the One I love.